Monday, June 27, 2011

Remembering Trip #2

We returned home from our first trip to Russia the last week of December and prayed for a quick court date. We ritually looked at the photos and videos from our first trip. Was this child really going to become our daughter and be here with us? The holidays came and went, and 2 1/2 months later we were given a less than one week notice of our court date. Things kicked into high gear. We scrambled to obtain visas, make travel arrangements, and get things squared away at our offices for a nearly month long absence. We packed smarter for ourselves and tried to anticipate what we would need for the nearly two weeks we would be with our baby in Russia. As first time parents, it was difficult to know what to bring.

Arriving in Russia for the second time felt great; it was so good to be back! We stayed at the same hotel as during our first trip, and ate at the same restaurants. The familiarity was comforting in the face of all the emotions that were swirling around in our heads. The next day, we went to visit Angelina. We were so nervous! Would she remember us (no, not really)? How has she changed from our first visit (not that much)? That night, our translator prepped us for court in the morning. We were expected to address the court about why we wanted to adopt Angelina and were provided with a bullet list of issues to be included in our speech. We stayed up late writing our speech, like a couple of college kids working on a paper at the midnight hour. Pure adrenaline.

Court was an emotional experience. We "plead our case" to the court, and the social worker, chief nurse from the baby home, and prosecutor all spoke in support of granting our petition to adopt Angelina. After the judge granted our petition, we held each other and wept in the court room. I will never forget that moment. From there, we went to visit our daughter. It was surreal.

According to Russian law, we had to wait 10 business days before we could officially sign Angelina out of the baby home. We decided to make the most out of this wait period and committed to having fun while overseas. We acted like tourists - we went sightseeing, saw an opera, dined at fancy restaurants and even hopped a train to nearby Latvia to see the land of my husband's ancestry (see our earlier posts about the details of these adventures). We visited Angelina nearly every day - save for our time in Latvia. We believed we had firm control over the transition that was taking place and there was nothing we couldn't handle. Ha!

Gotcha day finally came and things initially seemed to move along seamlessly, despite warnings from our agency to the contrary. As gotcha day moved into gotcha night, we realized our relief over Angelina's seemingly easy transition was premature. Angelina was clearly very distressed by the uprooting of her life. She cried - screamed - A LOT. The days and nights began to blur together as my husband and I handled the baby in shifts to allow the other person a bit of relief. It was utterly exhausting and - if I am being honest - I have never felt so pushed to the brink of my own sanity. It wasn't that we didn't love or care for our child, it was just we didn't know how to comfort her. She was so, so upset. The days and nights blurred together and sleep deprivation started to become a problem. That first week was really tough. I guess Angelina finally accepted the reality of the situation that yes, she was stuck with the two of us well-meaning, albeit novice, parents. Slowly, she came out of her funk and returned to the baby we had come to know and love. Throughout it all, we began to slowly evolve into a family.

Exhausted and ready to come home, the 3 of us traveled to Moscow to take care of the final bit of adoption related business (at the US Embassy), then onward to Orlando, Florida. The finish line was in sight! By that point, we were easily able to communicate with Angelina, even though she didn't understand English and we didn't speak Russian. Somehow, it all worked out.

We arrived home to Orlando on a Saturday night, covered in dried baby food and baby vomit and looking like we both rolled in a dumpster. We were parents! Our family met us at the airport. We were overjoyed to see them and proud to introduce our daughter, Angelina.

The next day, our families came from out of town for a quiet gathering to behold Angelina. Another day we will never forget.

Angelina has been with us for about 3 months now. We were told our lives would never be the same and that is indeed true. We are a pack of 3 now. A diaper bag full of baby snacks, a change of clothes, random toys and a spill-proof sippy cup is how we roll. We now know the words to all of the Wiggles songs and plan our weekends around Angelina's naps. We have settled into a comfortable life as a family, and we wouldn't change it for anything.


  1. She's so cute! It looks like her hair is getting curly! So glad you are doing so well:)

  2. Adorable. I agree with Jen, her hair looks fuller and curly. Glad to know that you are settling in as a family of 3.

  3. So glad you posted this. Openly talking about your struggles is hard; especially when your expectations about the first few months with your child are different than you expected. We all go through this transition period and many who are just starting the process will appreciate your honesty. I still can't get over the before and after pictures - what a difference a family makes! :-)

  4. OMG - this made me cry. First off you have my all time favorite song playing. Second I am in the process of adopting. I am a single Mom, patiently waiting for a referral. Scared to death but looking forward to being a mommy to a baby soon. Thank you for sharing your story!

  5. Your little girl is sooo cute!
    We are leaving in 2 weeks to bring home our little girl from St. Petersburg.

    Glad to meet another mom who's been in the same boat. :)


  6. She is adorable!
    Thanks so much for sharing your story. As we are waiting to become first time parents, it's comforting to hear someone else express the roller coaster of emotions that accompany this process. The fear, joy, and pure love of it all.
    By the way, we live in Florida too!